How to prevent my children from getting carried away by peer pressure?

Peer pressure is not something that you experience only in childhood. Whether you are 12 or 20 or 40, peer pressure appears in some form or the other. The only difference being at this stage in your life you have an idea of who you want to be, what you want to do or not do.

However, when it comes to your children you have to realize that they are ‘trying out’
and testing various forbidden waters to see what they want to do, not do or be or not be.

And as parents you can guide them, but given today’s world you have to realize that you might have limited control besides on yourself.

Yourself, in your role as parent, articulating clearly what your values our individually and as a family. Not only does it become important to articulate values but it becomes even more important to model those values.

In this video Monday Mornings with Sunaina Episode 77, you will realize why everyone is faced with peer pressure and what you can do to prevent negative peer pressure from impacting your child. Please click on the photo below to watch the video and listen to the 6 strategies I have shared to help you help your child:

  • Peer pressure is here to stay! Whether you are 12-40 peer pressure is something you have experienced in the form of where you live, what you wear, how you talk, where you work, what car you drive etc. So you need to accept that your child will also learn through this and come out stronger, you just need to parent him from the sides.2)Adults have created an identity over a period. You have tried various things and come to the conclusion that you would now like to be vegetarian, dress flamboyantly or conservatively, smoke or not, drink or not etc. Some of these could be your trial and error but most of these are what you trial with peers and then decide. However, if you rewind you will realize the final decision also took into account your family values and what was acceptable or not for your family as a whole.

    3) Your children are also testing out various ways of being and trying things in the same way that you did. So whether your child is ‘acting cool’, trying another accent, smoking or drinking, dressing in a particular way, putting on strange mannerisms it is for the simple reason that he is trying to fit in and be more a part of his peers and wants to identify less as an extension of you. Yes, it sounds harsh but this is how he is creating his identity as different from you as possible.

4) As parents you can support your child by creating a stable environment. Whatever is important to you, whether you are donating to a cause every week you need to do that on a constant and consistent basis so through your actions your child understands that this is important.
5) As parents action the values you believe in on a consistent basis. Its not only important to articulate your values but also act upon them so that your child can see you as their role model and you are creating clarity in their minds of what is expected from them via your actions.

 

6) Discuss and communicate the family values to your child and be their role model. Take action by sitting together over the weekend and drawing up a chart of your family values. What is important for you as a family so your children know what to refer to in times of confusion, especially when they feel pulled by negative peer pressure.

Action:
If you as a parent are at a loss on how to get your child to follow through and build good behaviour and habits – email sunainaathena@gmail.com to know more about Athena’s Youth Coaching Program for children 12+ where we help exhausted parents like you who are struggling to get through to your child. We help your child develop life skills, time-management, communication, confidence etc. to achieve all round academic and personal excellence.