Help – my teen daughter feels I don’t understand her!

Last week we spoke about pre-teen sons and today we have followed it up with how teen daughters and moms share a different chemistry. And wow that chemistry can become pretty interesting if the daughter is going through her ‘teen years.”

The relationship between mothers and daughters can be more volatile in the teen years given that both are ‘extremely emotional beings’. God has made women very strong and vulnerable at the same time. And teen girls do go through their fair share of physical, emotional and mental changes.

I remember how I felt as the misunderstood daughter and went through a very rough teen patch when trying to communicate with my own mother. There were times when I felt so isolated and would wonder whether my mom loved me! Of course now that I have a teen daughter I am a little more equipped thanks to my own experience as a teen daughter, but also thankfully more enriched due to the life coaching profession I have chosen to live by. It simplifies my understanding of my children and husband to a large extent. And I now know that a person/child is more than their behaviour!

Of course I have my own share of emotional upheavals as a mum and wife, but am a little more objective of managing my family thanks to all the tools and techniques of life coaching!

Today’s video blog Monday Mornings with Sunaina Episode 44 addresses how to communicate better with your teen daughter:

1) One of our most important human needs is the need to be understood. Are you seeing and listening your daughter?

2) When listening to your daughter leave judgement, solutions and your experiences aside.

3) Communication is only 7% words and 53% body language, 40% tonality. What is your child trying to communicate via her body language or tonality?

4) Are you conducting an interrogation or communicating with them when they want to? Allow them space to relax and unwind and be in the mode to talk to you.

5) Are you listening 100% to your child? Are you completely present? What listening skills are you modeling?

6) Are you listening to what is being said beyond the words?

Action: Do email me strategies that you have used to communicate better with your teen daughter that I can include in my upcoming book on communication in parenting.