How do I deal with my child who does not tell me about poor grades?

I have question that a friend of mine actually asked me, regarding ten year old daughter. Whenever her daughter gets poor grades in class she does not tell her mum, even if she asks her about her grades, so she said what can I do to help her in the situation.

1) As parents it is very very important for us to create a safe environment for our children, where even if they have gotten poor grade or made a mistake, they must feel that they can come back to their parents, without feeling judged, criticized or coming back to huge punishment, that would encourage them to come back to you, whether it’s poor grades or a mistake.

2) Sometimes difficult, but needs to be done is to stay calm. If you role model a calm behavior, the child also learns to stay calm, whether is poor grades, whether it is a mistake, the child will remain calm if the parent is calm. And in the state where both of you are calm, both of you can come up with positive answers, more positive ideas about how to improve on that situation.

3) Make this poor grade/mistake look like an learning opportunity for your child.

4) Sit down together and brainstorm for solutions. Does your child need outside help, does your child want you to help him or her in a particular manner, does the child want a teacher to help in class, so brainstorm solutions together.

5) Use this opportunity where your child has made a mistake or got a poor grade to EMPOWER your child. Put the ball in their court, how can they improve on the situation. Make them feel powerful, make them feel empowered that they can right this wrong, without making it feel like a big deal.

6) And for the sixth and most important point, you need to subscribe to my email newsletter, by filling in your details in the box on the right and hitting subscribe!

So the question for the day, how to deal with children who do not tell their parents about their poor grades. five points :

(1) Create a safe environment for your child.
(2) Stay calm
(3) Make it look like a learning opportunity
(4) Sit down and brainstorm ideas together
(5) Empower your child, to improve, to learn from his or her mistakes.


If you would like your child to undertake my Youth Coaching Program with me, do feel free to email me, or for any personal questions, you can call me on (+971) 0561399033. It’s a 10 week program. I meet your child one on one, once a week for 10 weeks. It is result orientated. All the children’s testimonials you will find on my Facebook page: Athena Coaching Solutions.