My 14 year old daughter has lost her confidence while communicating

Sometimes what ‘appears’ to be the issue might not necessarily be the issue. Parents view a problem their child might have, from their adult perspective, but it is important for you to dig deeper to know the source of the problem or how the issue began. Because once you find out the source you can help your child resolve it.

Children in their teen years undergo many changes, one of the most important ones is moving from parental approval to seeking peer approval. In this delicate phase their confidence levels might also get impacted, as they feel unsure about themselves. Having self-confidence as a skill is important to not only children but also adults.

Teens’ responsibilities at school also increase with the need to be more visible, doing presentations, team-work, leadership roles etc and if there is any internal turmoil that might impact their overall performance and their already fragile confidence might get further impacted.

In this video Monday Mornings with Sunaina Episode 86, I give some helpful strategies to a mother who feels her teen daughter has lost confidence while communicating.

  • What are your child’s beliefs? When I coach a child during Athena’s Youth Coaching Program, I dig deep inside of them to find out what exactly is causing them to have a negative opinion about themselves. The answer usually lies in something negative they believe about themselves – I am not a good speaker, I am not good at presentation skills, I am better at maths than presentation skills etc that they have been holding onto thereby preventing them from getting better at communicating.
  • What are your child’s pressure? In the teen years your child’s responsibilities increase and they take on added tasks at school. It is in these situations where your child might put on imaginary pressures like “If I do badly then my entire team will be let down.” It is in times like this that your child might be stressed and anxious causing him to lose his confidence. These pressures might not be real nor voiced by anyone else but your child would have imagined it for himself. Encourage your child to share her pressures with you.
  • What are your child’s fears? Is your child imagining the worst in every situation, thinking that she will fail at every presentation or team meeting. What is she afraid of? Where does she need your support and encouragement? How can she face her fears?
  • Record your child on video or audio if you think she is communicating well. Its best if she realizes by herself how well she is speaking when she watches herself on video.
  • Help your child focus on areas she is already confident in. If she has performed confidently in a musical recital point that out to her, if she has been confident in giving a maths exam point that to her. Help her to become aware that she does have confidence within her and then apply that same confidence gradually to how she speaks.

If you are struggling with helping your child to develop confidence in herself and it is impacting their academic and personal success email to get details about Athena’s Youth Coaching Program that helps children build requisite skills to overcome their hurdles. Or if you would like some parental coaching book your appointment NOW.