My teen lacks confidence and does not speak his heart out at home

Teenage years can be very tricky for some children and most parents! Teens do go through their share of physical change, mental confusion and shift from parental approval to peer opinion. Their complete identities are being put through a huge shift both internally and externally and many parts of their identity feel strange even to themselves.

Children go from being loving, dependent little ones to distant and monosyllabic aliens. Parents tend to go into denial about the transformation of their little cuddly baby into a independent young person with a mind of his own. A lot of times this ‘coming of age’ is seen as rebellion leading to a cold war at home.

With the right family support and guidance most teenagers survive this period of change and uncertainty and the circle of family love continues. However in some cases the changing identity can actually throw a teenager off balance pushing him into a chasm of low self confidence where he might feel even more isolated like an injured tiger pouncing on anyone who might feel threatening. Your teen might actually be confused and hurting but too proud and ‘independent’ to seek it from you pretending instead to push you away when all he wants is your love and attention.

In the video Monday Mornings with Sunaina Episode 84, I share some strategies on how to help your teen regain his confidence and rebuild the lines of communication.

  • What are the reasons behind your child lacking confidence? Its important for you to investigate the reason behind your child losing confidence: was there a change of school, a dear friend moving away, an unpleasant situation in school, family situation or any other matter that could have contributed to his losing confidence.
  • What are your child’s beliefs about himself? Because his beliefs shape his personality and what he thinks about himself. What are the negative beliefs he has about himself that are pulling him back?
  • Confidence is a feeling but where does it come from? Confidence comes from taking action. Confidence does not come from simply meditating and visualizing being confident. When you take action, you build new neural pathways in your nervous system that in turn send you signals of achievement thus helping you build confidence.
  • How do you gain confidence? By breaking through your comfort zone. We build confidence from ‘doing’ – from getting out of your comfort zone and attempting something new. When we do something new, our minds open up to new possibilities, our entire being expands. By taking action outside your comfort zone there is a direct increase in your confidence levels.
  • Parents need to encourage your child when he does take that difficult step to attempt something new. Go out and celebrate together as a family. Acknowledge your child for his efforts. Continue to point out his strengths to him and see your child’s confidence soar!

However if you feel you are struggling and would like help as a parent or your child needs guidance to rebuild his confidence email to book a FREE 30 minute session via phone or skype in the month of May. There are only 5 sessions left!