How do I stop caring what my friends think of me?

I’m so delighted that my last newsletter, directed at a teenager’s answer, has encouraged more teens like you to join me. So today’s teen’s question is: “How do I stop caring about what my friends say about me?” I remember a quote that says: “ What others think about you is none of your business.” But on a more serious note I have five strategies for you today to help you to stop you worrying about what others think about you.

1. Ask yourself what matters to you. Is going out important to you? Is make up, hairdo and dressing up important to you? Is music important to you? Is it art, is it maths? What is it that you truly enjoy? Truly care about? And once you discover that it becomes easier for you to hold your own when people, when your friends, when your peers pull you in different directions. So if your friends tell you to go out or to get dressed up in a particular manner or to behave in a particular manner, if you have formed a certain basis in what you are comfortable doing, you can say no firmly, and without offending anybody, because you realize that what matters to you is important to you and that you are not interested in that aspect of what they are forcing you to do or to be.

2. No one has the time to think about you. You might have said something wrong or dressed inappropriately for something. And you might come home and think: “oh my god, I said this and oh my god, I was dressed so awkwardly”. Yes, there are some people who might laugh at you or say something rude to you. But believe me when your back is turned people are just so busy that they just carry on with what they’re doing. It’s important to remind ourselves that I’m not the most important person in all they’re lives, I’m the most important person in my life and in the lives of my loved ones.

3. Their opinion cannot hurt you. Something that you need to understand and form in your mind. And you have to differentiate between your friends, your family and your loved ones versus people who are rude or who are bullies. So if there is somebody who is used to bullying a lot of people and somebody who is naturally rude, and they say something you can’t hold that opinion to yourself and feel hurt because their opinion should not matter to you. Versus. The people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind. However you may be, they will love and accept you for what ever you are. So don’t allow people who matter, their opinion to bother you.

4. Accept the basic premise that you cannot control other peoples thoughts and opinions. People operate from their own models of the world, they have been raised in different ways, they have their own like, dislikes. If you might dress in a particular manner there are some people who’ll appreciate that part about you. But there will be some people who will laugh about it and there are some people who are going to comment about it. So you actually have to be comfortable in whatever area you have chosen.

So in the first point what matters to you is the most important thing, if you are sure of that then, whatever they say you cant actually control it. And you shouldn’t be caring about it either.

5. If you are standing in your own circle of power, you are in charge of how you think, feel and act. And whatever anybody says cannot come anywhere near you because you are standing in your own circle of power.

For further details on my programs for children and teenagers please contact me by sunainaathena@gmail.com or (+971)056-1399033.