I am struggling with negative thinking

Today’s question has come all the way from Bombay. A 37-year-old housewife, who writes in, “I am struggling from negative thinking. Every time my husband travels, I think he is going to meet with an accident, or every time my son goes to school with a sniffy nose I think he is suffering from a very serious illness.” And so on, she had a very long email. So to help you with your negative thinking, the six strategies for today are…

1) Is becoming self-aware about your negative thinking. On a daily basis, I would like you to start noticing what it is that triggers that negative thought pattern. So for example, if your husband is going to office, and your child goes to school, and you have finished all your housework and you are just about relax, and there is a sudden emptiness, and that is when you go on to your roll of negative thinking. Find the moments in your day that are your triggers.

2) Realise that negative thinking is like a bad habit, and every habit can be changed. So, if you are a right-handed person, you are used to picking up things with your right-hand. And if you pick up things with your left-hand, some times the things might fall, or sometimes your left-hand will start to hurt you. So, in the same way, you are used to thinking with your negative mind all the time. And it is going to take time to start practicing positive thinking. So, from the first step, when you become more self-aware of what and when is the trigger to your negative thinking, at that particular point, you need to start practicing positive thinking. So just like practicing picking up things with your left-hand.

3) Live in the now. What happens is, our problems and our negative thinking usually happens when we start living in the past. So, “He said that to me yesterday and that’s why I am so miserable today,” or “Two months ago, that’s what happened and I’m so hurt because of that.” So our mind and our thoughts are completely in the past. Or, we are living in the future – “Oh my husband’s travelling tomorrow, and I just hope he doesn’t have an accident.” So, the past and the future, living in our thoughts and the past and the future create negativity. Pull these thought back to yourself, live in the now, in the present moment. And in this moment right now, you are absolutely fine. Your husband is absolutely fine. And so is your child. And that will help to prevent you from triggering and moving into the negative phase. Keep pulling yourself back into the present moment, into the now.

4) You mentioned that you were working earlier. So you are used to going out, meeting people, and being interested in particular areas. You if you were marketing, so I am sure there was something in marketing that you were interested in, so on and so forth. So enroll yourself in something that you would enjoy. It could be a course in photography; it could be a dance class; an art class; and if, because of your child or your circumstances you can’t go out of the house, we all these days have access to the Internet. There are an amazing amount of online programs you can enroll for. You can also enroll for my adult coaching programs – I will help you to deal with negative thinking and to break down any unconscious patterns you might have developed.

5) Look after your mind, your body and your soul. Your mind, by cultivating good reading habits, by surrounding yourself with positive people, by surrounding yourself with positive books. These things help to cultivate your mind and keep your mind nurtured. The second thing is your body, exercise regularly because exercise releases positive endorphins, which keep you in a positive state of being. Eat healthy food. To look after your soul, nurture your soul through meditation and prayer.

6) Maintain a gratitude diary. Think of three different things everyday that you are grateful for in the day. So then, you will be practicing to build your muscle on your left hand – the muscle of your positive mindset – through your gratitude diary where you will learn to focus on the three things everyday that you are grateful for. And for a little bit of a stretch, I would urge you to make it into a family activity where your husband, your child and you could sit together and write, maybe, two points per person. And this could be a beautiful diary for the whole year, where you could look back and think of all the wonderful moments that each of you enjoyed.

So I hope that helps to answer your question, and you will have no more of that negative thinking and positivity will help you to become more confident. And it’s so important, as the centre of the household, as the mum, for you to positive and confident because your child is watching you and imbibing those qualities from you.

The six strategies for today are:

1) Notice the trigger points for your negativity.
2) Negative thinking is just a habit! And it can be broken and replaced with a positive habit, just like practicing lifting things with your left-hand.
3) Living in the present moment.
4) Enroll yourself in a class that you will enjoy.
5) Nurturing your mind, your body and your soul.
6) Write down three things you are grateful for on a daily basis in your gratitude diary.

For all the adult coaching classes that I offer, you can email me on sunainaathena@gmail.com, or inbox me on my Facebook Page: Athena Coaching Solutions or call me on (+971) 56 1399033.