My husband hit my 12 year old son and they are no longer on speaking terms

Parents are humans but sometimes you can err, losing yourself to your own shortcomings, emotions and external stressors and the people who then suffer are the ones you have ‘power’ or ‘control’ over, your children. What you do not realize in the heat of the moment is who you are giving birth to – a bully. A child who learns that parents have emotional issues and when they do not know how to resolve them it is ok to hit someone who is smaller and younger than them.

Bullies are born to parents who bully their kids.

This video blog answers a plea by a mother who has written in describing in detail the cold war between her husband and son which started in the moment her husband hit her son.

Monday Mornings with Sunaina Episode 72 first explains to you the long terms damage hitting your child can cause and what you can do to prevent a recurrence of such situations:

What are the repercussions of hitting your child?

  • You are teaching your child that hitting is ok. If mum or dad can hit me, so can I hit others.
  • Your child thinks – my parent has an emotional problem and needs help. And because they do not know how to control or manage their emotions they are hitting me.
  • Your child understands – my parent who is older and bigger than me hit me, so its normal to hit others who are younger and smaller than me.
  • You are birthing a bully!

How can you prevent using physical force or slapping or spanking your child?

  • Come to terms with your child. Get off your expectation place and face and accept your child as is, not the child you imagined in your dreams.
  • If you have any external pressures at work, personal issues or other emotional problems resolve those first.
  • Know what triggers you. Once you know your triggers to lose your temper and raise your hand, as soon as you face such a trigger leave the scene and come back to it later when you can deal with it in a calmer manner.
  • Just the way the school sets boundaries around time, classrooms, discipline etc. parents need to set boundaries with children so that children know what is expected of them. Ofcourse parents should also know what boundaries need to stay firm and which boundaries can be softened.
  • Work on YOURSELF. If you have any negative baggage or personal or professional issues you are struggling with seek professional help so that you can be the parent who brings out the best in their child.

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